Former Nike executive, Portland mayor, Secretary of Transportation, and Oregon governor Neil "want some candy?" Goldschmidt has reportedly - to use the term employed by two newspapers - "suffered a stroke" and was apparently hospitalized briefly at a facility that's too embarrassed to allow its name to be publicly associated with the self-confessed child rapist. Sadly, it looks as though the 72-year-old didn't suffer quite enough, and will be okay.
In 2004, Goldschmidt admitted having sex with a 14-year-old girl while he was mayor of Portland. The statute of limitations had expired, so Goldschmidt was immune from prosecution.
Goldschmidt was forced to admit it, as Willamette Week was in the process of publishing the entire story. He immediately rushed into the editorial offices at The Oregonian in an apparent effort to mitigate damage, and that "newspaper" subsequently published a story regarding what they referred to as Goldschmidt's "affair".
But enough about that.
In other news, former Portland mayor Sam Adams (such lovely words!) is finally outta here after stinking up the office for four long years. His beloved colleagues on Portland City Council evidently couldn't wait to see him go, either, as they didn't give him so much as a "best of luck in future endeavors" speech. Nonetheless, the smarmy little goon's darned proud of what he terms his "accomplishments"; so much so that he took the time to send a self-congratulatory email to all city employees, many of whom subsequently had to call in sick. Sort of a final up yours! from the departing royalty.