The vegan went down to Georgia, she was looking for a chicken to steal. She was in a bind 'cause she was way behind, and she was willing to make a deal. - (sorry, Charlie Daniels; couldn't resist).
A Georgia woman is behind bars after deputies said she slammed into a chicken truck, fled the scene and then refused to leave her home once authorities tracked her down.
Well, they grow a lot of chickens down that way, and she didn't just hit the truck once. The little vegan Millennial hit it twice. Because she's vegan.
The investigation began when a truck driver told police he was traveling west on Hwy. 72 when a red four-door car hit the side of his truck. The driver said he initiated his brakes only to have the suspect vehicle slam into his truck once more - spinning in front of the truck in the process.
Fortunately, the 26 year-old Snowflake isn't very bright; in addition to leaving parts of her car at the scene of her unprovoked attack upon the chicken truck, she also lost her license plate, so she was pretty easy to track down.
The woman refused to leave the home unless the officer's secured a warrant but did speak with deputies through multiple windows of the house, explaining what happened. The woman, later identified as Judith Moriah Armstrong, 26, admitted she was involved in an accident and fled for fear of what would happen to her license.
But further questioning revealed that the accident wasn't all that accidental. She told officers she hit the other vehicle because it was a chicken truck and she was a vegan. Armstrong said she was heading home from work when she hit the truck and denied having alcohol before making the drive. However, claimed to have "taken a couple of shots" when she arrived home.
So eventually they got a warrant for her arrest, determined that she was over the legal limit for BAC, so they added DUII to her list of charges.
Oh, come on, guys - she's a Millennial vegan gurl and was probably "triggered" by the chicken truck; you know how they need their safe spaces and all. But being that she's currently in jail, I trust that they'll order her Big Macs with no meat. Hopefully, gluten-free as well.