Amazingly, it turns out that the guy who murdered a couple of cops in Sacramento two days ago had twice - brace yourself - been deported back to Meh-he-go. I know, it's hard to believe, given that they only come here to do the jobs that Americans won't do.
You know, it's only right that we give these hard-working folks drivers' cards, so they can buy auto insurance and all of our roads will be safer. Chances are, if he'd just had a drivers' card, he'd never have stolen that 2002 Ford F-150 to try to get away from police.
Remember, people are never illegal.