I'm not making this up:
Al Qaeda-linked militants fighting in Syria scrambled to head off an embarrassing decapitation gaffe this week, asking for "understanding and forgiveness" after mistakenly cutting off and displaying the head of an ally.
Allah may forgive 'em, but doubtless, heads will roll. Be assured, however, that he died with his head held high.
Yeaaaaah. If you could just go ahead and...NOT...cut the wrong person's head off anymore...that'd be greeeeat. In fact, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and not cut anyone else's head off until we review this process thoroughly. Mmmmkay? Thaaaaanks.