Apparently unsuccessful in any legitimate endeavors, a guy in Huron, near Fresno, California decided to try his hand at burglary but failed at that as well. Perhaps he shouldn't have eaten so much turkey, or perhaps he should have checked into how these things work.
In any case, he climbed down the chimney Friday night while the homeowner was out, and oddly enough, became stuck. The homeowner returned yesterday mid-afternoon and, as it was chilly, lit a fire. As the suspect discovered, doubtless to his dismay, the whole Santa thing's a myth; fireplaces and chimneys have these things known as dampers, and they're too narrow to fit through.
As to the result: well, the homeowner did try to extinguish the flames as the suspect screamed and the house filled with smoke due to the blockage. He even called 911. Not that it mattered, as the wannabe burglar's goose was cooked. On the bright side, there should be no need for a casket. On the downside, it being California, Jerry's DEQ will probably want to fine the homeowner for improper barbecue.