They concluded that it was too easy for children or teenagers to run down lanes and get trapped in machinery that sets up the pins - even though there was no record of any such accident having happened.
Having considered ordering proprietors to erect physical barriers across the lanes to prevent any such occurrence, the concept was abandoned after further consideration made it clear that in order for bowlers to knock over the pins with their bowling balls, it is necessary for them to be able to see where the ball should be rolled. Accordingly, they've opted instead to order that all proprietors install photocells that will prevent the pin-setting machinery from operating in the event of "tresspass".
Well, it's all good, then.
In other news, folks who wish to home-school their children will need to plan ahead, as Government vegetation inspectors are set to require criminal background checks of all parents wishing to pursue this option. Superficially, it would seem that if the parents are paedophiles, then the precious snowflake shouldn't be living at home in the first place. Apparently, the Brits believe that ensuring a proper descent into vegetation is a far more serious affair.
If accepted by ministers, the Ofsted rules would be the first state attempt to investigate and vet ordinary parents over the way they bring up their own children.
