NOVEMBER 26--A Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than $6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company, a San Antonio firm that has been smoking meat since 1949.
According to an arrest affidavit, Regina Shaw, 45, was linked to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the purveyor.
Arrested two days before Thanksgiving, charged with a felony. Lovely. After cracking the case, San Antonio police said they never sausage a thing. CDC had no comment regarding the health effects of smoking meat for nearly half a century.
Looking at Regina's mugshot is reminiscent of the "Faces of Meth" photo series from a few years back. It's surprising that she apparently hadn't considered the possibility that there might be a camera around before she embarked upon her cunning escapade; most folks would case the joint beforehand.
