MaxRedline

Animals And Behavior

Oh, my heavens. The extreme issues regarding Oregon Zoo's "animal management" have started to crack a bit: one curator is reportedly on "administrative leave". Gosh, how unfortunate. What goes around comes around, Jenny. She thought she was secure because she was boinking Bobby. She thought she was doing a great job when she conspired to fire a senior animal care staff member.

But that's pretty much your standard animal behavior; they're just doing what animals do. Now, she's experiencing it.

Poor baby.

But speaking of boinking, Oregon Zoo plans to do a lot of that on the elephant scale, according to Boinkin' Bobby:

KOIN 6 News found a published a study against breeding Borneos — like Chendra — with Asian Elephants or other subspecies.

Well, yeah. But of course, data doesn't matter. Heck, who goes to a zoo to look at data? That's boring.

Long Overdue

A couple of House Republicans have at long last taken the bull by the horns and gone after the anchor babies. Their bill's not going to go anywhere, but it's a good effort. Naturally, Democratics are claiming that it illustrates Republican "nativisim" and how they hate immigrants.

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) and Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) have both introduced bills this year to end birthright citizenship, but neither has gone for a vote.

Even if those bills never get a vote -- and they likely won't -- the fact that the issue got a hearing at all provided fuel for Democrats, who were fiery in their defense of the right for babies born on U.S. soil to be citizens.

"This birthright citizenship legislation and a decision to hold a hearing on its merits are outrageous examples of just how far shameless Republicans are willing to go to demonstrate their hatred for immigrants," Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) said at a press conference, accusing Republicans of using the bill to stigmatize and sow hate for immigrants.

Of course, Maxine isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but she has the whole hate-speech thing down pat. Like her fellow Democratic, she likely fears that if the island of Guam gets too many people on it, it'll tip into the sea.

Sorry, idiots. The 14th Amendment was never intended to apply to illegal aliens nor to spawn a birth tourism industry.  And it's long past time that we started clarifying that little issue.

The Doctor Is On

Telemedicine is now a thing, as the country's largest insurance company has decided that it's just as good as a physical visit.

UnitedHealthcare today is announcing a partnership with three telemedicine companies to cover video-based doctor visits just as it covers in-person visits.

United says it will cover virtual doctor visits offered through NowClinic, Doctor on Demand, and American Well.

Some observers praise the move as another step forward in the ongoing march toward advancing medical technology, while others pan it as an effort to cut costs. It seems reasonable to view it from a middle ground: yes, it may be good for the corporate bottom line - but if you live on a ranch in eastern Oregon, do you really want to drag yourself into your truck and drive to a town to see a doctor?

If I'm a rancher, I'm going with videoconferencing; I'll drag my butt into town only if I absolutely have to. For rural residents, it's likely a net benefit.

A Sign From The Heavens

The Christian religion was likely transformed 2,000 years ago when Saul, a hard-line persecutor of followers of Jesus, was literally bowled over during the course of one of his many searches for Christians to punish. The event blinded him for three days, allowing him plenty of time for introspection. And thus, he became Paul - and an irresistible force in the spread of Christianity. He was the convert of all converts; sometimes referred to as the second founder of Christianity, and now revered as Saint Paul.

And what bowled him over so remarkably and so suddenly? What caused him to go blind for three days? In all probability, this:

William Hartmann, co-founder of the Planetary Science Institute in the U.S. has connected Paul’s experience with similar accounts of exploding meteors, such as the well-recorded Chelyabinsk meteor which broke up over Russia in 2013, injuring over 1,500 people. The eyewitness descriptions and physical reactions to meteors or fireballs in the sky seem to parallel what is recorded about Paul.

In the biblical accounts, Paul was blinded for three days due to the intense light from the sky; it was “brighter than the sun, shining round me,” according to the text. This matches the Chelyabinsk meteor, as it was calculated to be shining around three times as bright as the sun. The blazing fireball made shadows move around the ground as it travelled.

Paul and his companions were said to have been knocked to the earth, and this also corresponds to the shockwave generated by the powerful Chelyabinsk meteor as it blasted out windows, knocked people off their feet, shook cars and buildings, and collapsed roofs.

Moreover, photokeratitis, sometimes known as corneal burn or ultraviolet keratitis, is known to occur in people who witness an exploding meteor.

It's painful; in fact, intensely so, and generally occurs after six or so hours following unprotected exposure to intense ultraviolet radiation. It also typically self-resolves within a period of three to four days.

Had Saul not been out searching for Christians to punish - with that goal occupying his heart and his mind - he might never have experienced a tap from the hand of God, and world history would likely be completely different.

The Pelican Brief: A Fish Story

Somebody dumped a few goldfish into a Boulder, Colorado lake a while back, and the population subsequently exploded into the thousands, to the detriment of native species. As Colorado Parks and Wildlife officials dithered about, debating whether to deploy electroshock or rotenone to get rid of the goldfish, actual wildlife professionals swooped in to take care of the problem.

The biologists that monitor the lake were out taking samples of fish there this week and saw that the number of goldfish dropped off significantly. "I don't think any of us would have thought in just a couple of weeks pelicans would have cleaned the whole thing up," she said.

But the goldfish are easy pickings for the big American Pelicans; native species are a lot harder to spot. The smarter goldfish have noticed that a few thousand of their closes friends are disappearing, and so they've taken to hiding out in patches of reeds near the shore. Ultimately, however, that's unlikely to save them because the water there is shallow, making it even easier for the pelicans. Hiding may be a good effort, but those flashes of bright gold among the reeds simply indicate to the birds that the buffet is now open.

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Invasion In Colorado

What's On Your Drive Today?

Oh, the laptop; such a fine repository of data. So easy to transport, you take it everywhere. You probably have named it. 

Your constitutional rights end at the border of any country. If someone decides to look into your computer, they can.

It’s worth noting that no one has privacy rights when crossing borders. Even if you’re a U.S. citizen entering the United States, your Constitutional rights do not apply at the border, and border agents reserve the right to copy all of the files off of your computer or phone if they choose to. This is also true in Canada, and in other countries around the world. If you plan on traveling with electronic devices, disk encryption is the only way you have a chance at protecting your data if border agents insist on searching you. In some situations it might be in your best interest to cooperate and unlock your device, but in others it might not. Without disk encryption, the choice is made for you: the border agents get all your data.

Encryption is the better strategy, and not just at border crossings. You really don't want your financial and other important data easily available. Some versions of Windoze include "bitlocker" encryption, but many don't. And really, do you want a Microsoft version of security? You might well do better with this.

For one thing, it's less vulnerable to the "evil maid" attacks that have been documented in the wild. But, if you're feeling good, you might want to check and see if your version incorporates Microsoft's "bitlocker". It's pretty easy to open, but probably better than nothing. Marginally, at least. By the way, the NSA does monitor transmissions from some of the TPMs (tamper-resistant-modules) that bitlocker relies upon.

Buy stock in tinfoil now.

Mikey We Hardly Knew Ye (And Still Don't)

The city of Portland is considering hiring Michael Jordan to head the bureau of environmental "services". Jordan, who hastily quit his post as former gov. Retread's head of the state's Department of Administrative Services in the wake of the Retread implosion and who is among several state employees currently under federal investigation, is also cited in a tort claim filed recently by a high-level state IT professional in which he is accused of being responsible for "major violations of IT and contract law."

 

Yep - seems like a perfect fit for Portland government. "Hey, let's hire the guy who, when head of Metro, oversaw the operation of the historic Pioneer cemeteries (among other things) and didn't seem to mind when his staff dug up human remains and trucked them out to a dump-site near a popular lake!"

This guy shouldn't even be considered for another government job until after the dust settles from the ongoing federal investigation.

Step Right Up!

Barry's coming to town, and for a mere $500, you too can have the honor of sitting in the audience and listen to his masterful oratory. Apart from traffic tie-ups as his parade travels between PDX and downtown Porkland, it should be pretty low-key. After all, this isn't a Republican president, like Bush or Reagan, so we don't have to be concerned about Little Beirut blowing up; if any activities occur, they'll be coming from tolerant conservatives. You know, the folks who actually leave places cleaner than they were when the event began.

The folks who constantly proclaim their Tolerance as though they have some sort of lock on the term won't have anything to riot about, because it's only Barry.

Left-Lane Hogs

Oregon legislators, having solved all other pressing issues, are considering a bill to outlaw camping in the left lane on a freeway; evidently existing laws regarding staying in the right lane except to pass are deemed insufficient. The bill would raise some revenue, as the fine for campers would be $160. It is, however, unnecessary:

Gallagher solved this issue a decade or two ago: issue everybody a dart gun along with their license, and a supply of suction-cup darts with a little tag that says "stupid". You get stuck behind a stupid driver, then you just whip out your dart gun and hit them with a "stupid" sticker. If a cop sees a car with three stickers, he pulls the driver over and writes him/her a ticket for being a jerk.

Seems Reasonable

Battle Creek, home of Kellogg's famous sanitarium and colon-cleansing products such as Special K and All-Bran, was the site of military decontamination exercises last Friday. More are planned for this week.

Williams said the exercise includes establishing the evaluation and decontamination process but also ensuring that all materials used are recorded.

"When it's over we know exactly the number of Band-Aids that were used," he said.

Units from as far away as Alabama are participating. It's the biggest toxic cleansing since the days of Kellogg himself.