In a satirical story titled “Planned Parenthood Defends Bill Cosby: ‘Sexual Assault Is Only 3% Of What He Does,'” the publisher mocked the abortion provider over its oft-made claim that only three percent of the services it provides involve killing babies.
Based on that egregious logic, Cosby deserves a break since he spent most of his life making people laugh versus raping women.
In related news, Babylon Bee also reported that UK Prime Minister Theresa May issued a helpful reminder to parents over there:
LONDON—Upon the news of a high court ordering life support removed from 2-year-old Alfie Evans, English Prime Minister Theresa May issued a brief, friendly reminder to citizens of the U.K. that the all-powerful state actually owns their children. In a video circulated online, May informed parents who were “getting a little too attached” to their children that they need to keep in mind that the United Kingdom is the actual legal parent, and the kids are simply on loan to them until the State decides it’s time for them to die.
So there you have it. Just stay in your place.
