MaxRedline

It Hasn't Happened Quite Yet...

CALIFORNIA—Deprived of luxuries like power and freedom, more and more Californians are being forced to run extension cords over to their neighbors in adjacent states. A caravan of migrant Californians was seen traversing the deserts separating the state from its eastern neighbors, towing hundreds of miles' worth of extension cords.

Californians knocked on random Nevada and Arizona residents' doors and asked if they could borrow some power to charge their cellphones, power their espresso machines, and run their tanning beds.

It may seem a bit far-fetched at the moment, but just wait a few weeks....

 

Portland Perversion

Actually, it was yesterday, so he's out in time for tonight's festivities.

Portland Police today arrested Terry Bean, the Portland real estate investor, political fundraiser and LGBTQ pioneer.

He's also a pedophile. His former criminal attorney, Derek Ashton, was also arrested. It seems likely that the latter will eventually be disbarred.

Both men were arrested in connection with a series of events that led to the dismissal of Lane County sex abuse charges against Bean in 2015. Ashton represented Bean in 2015 when Bean first faced sex abuse charges in Lane County relating to a 2013 incident in which Bean and another man, Kiah Lawson, allegedly had sex with a 15-year-old boy in a Eugene hotel.

Ashton until recently represented Bean, a wealthy Democratic donor and a well-known gay rights activist, on charges that Bean sexually abused a 15-year-old boy in a Eugene motel room in 2013.

Lawson's already done two years in jail.

 

Bad Aim

A powerful lightning strike left a huge hole in a Fort Worth parking lot just after 6 a.m. on Shadydell Drive and Boat Club Road on October 30, 2019. The parking lot, shared by a Chevron gas station and a strip center now has a 15 feet wide and 3 feet deep hole.

The lightning strike blew a 400-pound diesel pump out of the ground.

Odd that it hit the ground rather than taller structures nearby. Quite impressive, however; concrete, asphalt and other debris were flung as far away as 65 feet from the site.

 

Torturous "Haunted House"

An online petition with the goal of shutting down a haunted house challenge in Tennessee has gained more than 70,000 signatures after critics called the so-called “haunt” an excuse for a sadistic torture chamber.

The change.org appeal appeared online just ahead of Halloween, urging the Tennessee state senate to take action against Mckamey Manor in Summertown.

“Advertised as ‘an extreme haunt’ when in fact it is NOT a haunted house. It’s a torture chamber under disguise,” wrote Frankie Towery, the organizer of the appeal.

“They do screenings to find the weakest, most easily manipulated people to do the ‘haunt.’ If Russ doesn’t think you’re easily manipulated, you aren’t allowed to go,” Towery added.

Russ McKamey, operator of the haunted tour, claims a full experience is a 10-hour endurance challenge. Participants must sign off on tooth pulling, finger breaking or head shaving, present proof of a passed physical and take a background check, according to their website.

“It’s literally just a kidnapping [and] torture house,” Towery adds in the appeal to shut the operation down. “I propose that all locations where this is happening be shut down immediately.”

Above content from NY Post.

The petition has apparently received some 70,000 supporters.

Frankly, as today is Halloween, it seems as though the petition's a little late in the game. Moreover, this Russ guy records each trip into the "show" - as he calls it. No fingers have been broken, and no teeth have been pulled; it's all a head trip.

 

Hippo Halloween!

Don't eat too much this evening.

 

Party Down!

BEND, Ore. (AP) — A federal program administrator overseeing endangered species policy for Washington state was sentenced to a month in jail for sexually assaulting a female co-worker while attending a conference in Oregon.

The Bulletin reports Eric Rickerson was sentenced Tuesday after pleading guilty to third-degree sex assault, harassment, coercion, intimidation and private indecency.

He got drunk at the confab. The guy supposedly "oversees" more than 100 federal employees.

 

Soon To Be Released - The Movie: Full Metal Collar

Purely Coincidental

ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide. “We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in spite of their increased suicide risk, people with dirt on the Clintons rarely show any warning signs of suicide, and they never leave a suicide note.”

I believe the correct term is "Arkancide"....

 

Pity The Poor Jihadis

The world's most dangerous terrorists are asking if it would be alright if we could just let them go back to their home countries because they don’t so much like being held in prison in Syria. The men crammed into poorly fortified jails such as this one in Hasakeh hail from dozens of countries that don't want them free -- but don't want them back either.

"I want to leave the prison and go back home to my family," says Aseel Mathan, 22.

It's probably safe to assume that a lot of his buddies in the prison feel the same way. All 12,000 of them.

 

The Long Flush

FREDERICK, Md. (KUTV) -- A deaf woman in Maryland got a surprise in the mail when she opened her water bill and discovered she was being charged nearly $5,000, according to the Frederick News-Post.

The city of Frederick, Md. told Denise Sansonese she has until Thursday, October 31 to pay her bill or her water will be shut off.

Denise Sansonese is deaf and could not hear that her toilet was running after a water pump tube malfunctioned.

That water ran continuously for days until her son, who was visiting home from college and is not deaf, discovered the problem.

Hope he was able to get a handle on it; the city must have thought she was flush with cash.

Fortunately, news of the bill reached the Frederick Community Action Agency (FCAA), which stepped in Tuesday to help pay the bill; they made sure the bill was zeroed out.