Dearest Wife,
This could be one of the last times I write you. I am starting to fear for my life. The boys and I have had to start rationing the covfefe. We are not able to start our days right. About a month ago we ran out of ketchup. Have you tried to eat well done meat without Ketchup? We are living like heathens. There is not a Diet Coke to be found anywhere. We have raided multiple Sam’s Clubs and we have left with nothing. The next battle could be my last. I love you and tell the kids that YouTube is not real a job.
War is Hell.
Armageddon Strikes.