MaxRedline

Heart Monitor

Yes, I got one today, three leads for a 3-D image that transmits to a dedicated cell phone. The technology has really come a long way. I was happy to see that they weren't going to use an implantable, as I react violently to sedation - last time they tried  it, things got pretty ugly, according to the resulting reports. Generally, I'm a pretty harmless 130-pound guy. But start knocking me out, and all hell breaks loose. Exactly why remains unclear. What is clear is that I've evidently been flagged for no sedation, and I suspect that's the reason why medics assigned to me are all twice my size and look like former football players.

 

About Right

U.S.—Presidential candidate Senator Elizabeth Warren has announced a plan to fight disinformation online. She has also announced the main target of this effort: “satire” site The Babylon Bee, one of the main perpetrators of fake news.

“When I am president,” Warren told the press, “I immediately will initiate Order 66 and send an elite task force to hunt down and end all disinformation.” Many confused Boomers are expected to end up in prison from this, but Warren explained that the main targets will be the writers of The Babylon Bee, who are to be hunted down and tried for high to medium treason.

The Babylon Bee in the past has written a number of stories about Warren, including her attacking her Senate colleagues with a tomahawk, her dressing up as a student loan fairy, and her claiming she lost her teaching job when her mustache fell off, revealing she’s a woman. Some of these have been disproven by Snopes. “This isn’t about one website, though,” Warren explained. “This is about making sure that there are no lies on the internet -- especially about me. There will be exceptions, though, for politicians, as sometimes we make mistakes -- like that whole Native American thing.”

The Babylon Bee is not backing down, though, and has announced it will continue to “write entertaining satire from a Christian viewpoint” and will “never be taken alive.”

In other news...

LONDON—In response to a recent outbreak in fistfights, London mayor Sadiq Khan announced Monday a sweeping ban of hands in the city, effective immediately.

“No excuses: there is never a reason to have hands in a modern, civil society. Anyone who does will be caught, and they will feel the full force of the law,” Khan said at a press conference announcing the new policy during which he revealed that he has had his own hands surgically removed as a good-faith move to jump-start the new regulations.

Along with the new hand-control measures, Khan announced a new task force focused on purging the city of hands, as well as an expanded police presence focused on stopping and searching citizens who they think may have failed to have their hands removed from their person.

At publishing time, rumors were swirling that the mayor was planning on banning feet after two handless men got into a quarrel and began kicking each other.

 

Thunderdome

Chinese villagers are taking matters into their own hands:

Residents in Xikangzhuang, close to the border of Shanxi province, have built entire walls out of brick, reportedly to 'stop outsiders coming to our village'

No people from Wuhan allowed!

Seems a bit hyper-reactive, as less than 200 have died thus far. A related virus, known as "the flu", killed 8,000 in the USA alone, last year.

 

Now Kate Wants To Tax Your Bed (Among Other Things)

Democratics here in Oregon are mostly from out-of-state. Having fouled their own nests, they moved here, and proceed to do the very things that ended up so poorly back home. It'd be nice if we could send Kate back to Minnesota....

Homes sales Tax (HJR203): Gov. Kate Brown’s proposal to impose a new state real estate sales tax (“transfer charge”) on homes sold for more than $500,000, and repeal state preemption of certain local real estate transfer taxes that had been prohibited by voters under Measure 79 in 2012. The taxes would subsidize “affordable housing” as defined by the state.

Car sales tax increase (HB4151): Raises the new motor vehicle sales tax by an unknown amount (a blank percentage) and imposes a one percent tax on electric bills, to pay for increased subsidies of Teslas and other electric cars and more recharging stations for them.

Construction Tax (HB4084): Imposes a new tax (“system development charge”) on construction of apartments or adding units to existing apartments located in rural areas, to provide subsidies for state-defined “affordable housing.”

Mattress Bed Tax (SB1564): Allows the Department of Environmental Quality to impose a sales tax (“assessment”) on new mattresses to fund a mandatory mattress “stewardship,” i.e. recycling, program. As an “assessment” rather than a “tax,” the bill may not require a 3/5 majority. Tax bills must start in the House and receive 3/5 majority votes in both the House and Senate.

Carbon Tax (72 gas tax and 11% utility rate increase) Legislative Draft LC 19: Sets emission targets and then forces any business that exceeds those emission targets to pay credits into a state slush fund – expected to raise $700 million. Taxing carbon will increase the cost of gasoline and heating utilities. Gasoline prices are expected to rise as much as 72 cents. Heating bills, powered by natural gas, are expected to rise 13% for homes and 53% for businesses.

 

Wrong Approach

DENVER (CBS4) – Some Denver voters will soon be asked how they would feel about paying increased sales taxes, property taxes and other taxes to raise $50 million to $55 million a year to support Denver’s homeless population. The Colorado Coalition for the Homeless said Tuesday they are hiring a pollster to begin the process of getting a tax increase on the November 2020 ballot.

“We really want to explore as many options as possible so voters can tell us whats the most palatable to them,” said Cathy Alderman, Vice President of Communications and Public Policy for the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.

Estimates are that the city of Denver currently spends about $50 million per year on homeless services and other charities, and nonprofits contribute another $90 million, according to a 2019 report. Alderman says that’s not enough to help out the more than 5,300 people in metro Denver who are homeless.

Alderman said there have been ongoing, informal discussions with some Denver city council members about a tax increase. She said she believed this was an appropriate time to ask voters to increase taxes to support the homeless although she said, ”I anticipate some push back and lively debates and discussion. But we think it’s time to come together as a community and do better.”

Gosh, Cathy looks well-fed. Maybe she should just donate her lunch money. You know she's pulling down a six-figure salary as a Veep for her "non-profit organization".

But why should people be guilt-tripped into taxing themselves even more than they already are to "support the homeless"? Why do the homeless need "support"? Didn't you support yourself and your family, as I have? I'm sure we're all willing to extend a hand up, but less willing to extend a hand-out. Yet the enablers like Cathy have built entire industries out of marketing the need for "services to the homeless". Frankly, they tick me off. The "homeless" in general don't need the "services" - they need to get off the drugs and off their dead asses and go to work like you and I do.

Sure, there are a very few who actually could use our help - but that's where the "hand-up", rather than a hand-out thing comes into play. People like Cathy make good money by steering people to hand-outs.

It'd be amusing to see how long she'd be able to hold up in a real job.

 

Oregon Jury Awards Weiner $300,000 For Loss Of His Semen

After a four-day trial this month, a Clackamas County Circuit Court jury found that the sperm bank had lost or damaged Weiner and Barcroft’s frozen reserves of dog semen. Weiner said he still has a small amount of King’s semen left, but he’ll no longer sell it because he has so little of it.

Yep, it's a story about Labrador Retriever breeders. But you looked anyway....

The trial exposed jurors to the high-stakes, sometimes precarious world of breeding elite hunting dogs. Dick Weiner and Brad Barcroft claimed the Sandy-area sperm bank negligently allowed the sperm of six prized, long-dead Labradors to thaw and become useless after a freezer mishap in 1997. Weiner and Barcroft alleged the sperm bank then hid its mistake for nearly two decades until a former employee of the company shared the news with them in 2016.

The pups produced weren't exactly cheap, at $2,000 to $3,000 apiece. So the breeders did lose a substantial amount of potential income. Naturally, the "sperm bank" is appealing the ruling.

 

 

 

(Green) Flower Power, Baby!

SF Gate reports that San Francisco Public Works Director Mohammed Nuru and a local restaurateur were arrested and charged with public corruption by the FBI.

The criminal complaint charges them with wire fraud in connection with an alleged scheme to attempt to bribe a San Francisco Airport Commissioner, United States Attorney David Anderson announced at a press conference. The main scheme described by the FBI involves the attempted alleged bribery of an unnamed SFO commissioner in exchange for a restaurant contract at the airport. According to the complaint, Nuru and Bovis (the restauranteur also arrested) schemed to give the unnamed commissioner $5,000 and free travel so that she would vote to approve a contract for Bovis’ restaurant Spinnerie. The complaint records multiple conversations between Bovis and an undercover FBI employee who was posing as a friend of a lender. The criminal complaint against Nuru states the unnamed commissioner declined the money, and the contract was never awarded to Bovis.

By the way, Muhammed Nuru’s total pay and benefits in 2018 was $323,732.93. Sometimes a lot just isn't enough.

 

No News Is Good News...

New Jersey Trump rally in Wildwood was YUGE. So big, in fact, that the venue was quickly filled to the brim, leaving some 165,000 people to tough it out around the arena. With that kind of crowd, police closed several streets in the area to parking in order to facilitate a relatively free flow of traffic. CBS News didn't think it applied to them. They were wrong.

Live and learn, guys....

Put that in the "OOPS!" file....

 

You Show 'Em, Guv'nor!

SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Newsom has declared California a coronavirus-free zone, instantly eradicating any threat of coronavirus infecting anyone in the state.

The executive action makes any possession of coronavirus a state felony.

"When you declare something illegal, it is instantly gone forever," Newsom said solemnly. "That's why I'm taking immediate executive action to declare the possession of coronavirus a felony at the state level. Top scientists all agree that the best way to get rid of something is to ban it."

"That oughtta do it."

After learning that the virus infects humans, Newsom also banned all humans from the state of California. Luckily, the politicians in Sacramento were not affected.

Decisive action! Strong leadership!

 

Seattle: Liberal Utopia

To be fair, it's the same in Portland, San Francesspool, and all along the major west coast cities.