No worries; chances are that it's already on the books as a federal offense:
In America’s early days, the law was fairly simple. The Constitution specifies just three federal crimes: piracy, counterfeiting and treason.
Since then, however, the number of no-no’s has expanded by the millions, encompassing everything from how many beers you can drink while riding a bike in a national park (zero) to what shape margarine pats must be served in restaurants if they aren’t clearly labeled as margarine. (For God’s sake, triangles! A Hartford, Connecticut, restaurant owner was arrested in 1952 for serving square pats of margarine.)
Because watery ketchup isn’t really ketchup at all, the government regulates how thick the sauce must be.
The flow rate is measured by an instrument called a Bostwick consistometer. Basically, the ketchup is allowed to flow down a trough and an observer measures how far it can travel in 30 seconds. Any farther than 14 centimeters and it ain’t ketchup.
Ketchup that’s too runny must be slapped with a conspicuous “substandard” in 12- or 14-point type, according to the Feds.
And the government even regulates how to spell ketchup. Turns out there are just three permissible spellings: Ketchup (definitely!), Catsup (Ok, sure) and Catchup (sorry, wut?).
Statute 18 U.S.C. § 336 makes it a federal crime to issue “any note, check, memorandum, token, or other obligation for a less sum than $1” in lieu of money.
Title 21, Part 139, of the Code of Federal Regulations sets rigid standards for the specifications of noodles — though on just four varieties.
It requires macaroni to be tube-shaped and have a diameter between 0.11 and 0.27 inches.
Monkeying with the weather is strictly prohibited.
The rule has its origins during the Vietnam War, when the United States spent millions trying to figure out how to create downpours over strategic enemy sites.
When that information leaked in the press, Congress enacted 15 U.S.C. § 330a, which says that “no person may engage, or attempt to engage, in any weather modification activity in the United States” without notifying the secretary of commerce. Violators could be slapped with a fine of up to $10,000.
Swiss cheese must have holes developed throughout the cheese; failure to manage that is a violation of federal law.
I firmly believe that for every new law that goes into the books, two should be removed.