MaxRedline

There Oughta Be A Law!

No worries; chances are that it's already on the books as a federal offense:

In America’s early days, the law was fairly simple. The Constitution specifies just three federal crimes: piracy, counterfeiting and treason.

Since then, however, the number of no-no’s has expanded by the millions, encompassing everything from how many beers you can drink while riding a bike in a national park (zero) to what shape margarine pats must be served in restaurants if they aren’t clearly labeled as margarine. (For God’s sake, triangles! A Hartford, Connecticut, restaurant owner was arrested in 1952 for serving square pats of margarine.)

Because watery ketchup isn’t really ketchup at all, the government regulates how thick the sauce must be.

The flow rate is measured by an instrument called a Bostwick consistometer. Basically, the ketchup is allowed to flow down a trough and an observer measures how far it can travel in 30 seconds. Any farther than 14 centimeters and it ain’t ketchup.

Ketchup that’s too runny must be slapped with a conspicuous “substandard” in 12- or 14-point type, according to the Feds.

And the government even regulates how to spell ketchup. Turns out there are just three permissible spellings: Ketchup (definitely!), Catsup (Ok, sure) and Catchup (sorry, wut?).

Statute 18 U.S.C. § 336 makes it a federal crime to issue “any note, check, memorandum, token, or other obligation for a less sum than $1” in lieu of money.

Title 21, Part 139, of the Code of Federal Regulations sets rigid standards for the specifications of noodles — though on just four varieties.

It requires macaroni to be tube-shaped and have a diameter between 0.11 and 0.27 inches.

Monkeying with the weather is strictly prohibited.

The rule has its origins during the Vietnam War, when the United States spent millions trying to figure out how to create downpours over strategic enemy sites.

When that information leaked in the press, Congress enacted 15 U.S.C. § 330a, which says that “no person may engage, or attempt to engage, in any weather modification activity in the United States” without notifying the secretary of commerce. Violators could be slapped with a fine of up to $10,000.

Swiss cheese must have holes developed throughout the cheese; failure to manage that is a violation of federal law.

I firmly believe that for every new law that goes into the books, two should be removed.

 

Obscure Politician Grandstands

Massachusetts congressman and 2020 presidential candidate Seth Moulton expressed opposition for the Hyde Amendment by comparing federally-funded abortions to funding the U.S. troops. Moulton slammed former Vice President Joe Biden, who expressed his support for the Hyde Amendment that outlaws federally-funded abortions with exceptions for rape, incest, and the life of the mother, urging the Democratic frontrunner that he "should change his position."

If he supports abortion, let him pay for them.

 

Now California's Considering Going After Priests

California is considering a proposed law that is nothing less than an attempt to jail innocent priests. California Senate Bill 360 seeks to change its law to force a priest, when he hears of sins in the confessional regarding sexual abuse, to make a choice. He must choose to either maintain the confidentiality of the sacrament and face possible imprisonment or to betray that confidentiality and violate his deepest conscience and the laws of God and the Roman Catholic Church. No priest I know would choose the latter. 

First they came for the Catholics....

 

Burn, Baby, Burn

Material supposedly meant to be recycled is piling up now that China has seriously cut back on accepting such materials from the USA. So now a lot of the stuff is simply being landfilled - or burned:

The New York Times reported this weekend the problem has spread across the country. As the costs of handling recycled materials mount, many of them are being burned or thrown in dumps. "Philadelphia is now burning about half of its 1.5 million residents' recycling material in an incinerator that converts waste to energy," the Times reported.

Personally, I've never cared much for mandatory recycling programs that have been in vogue among Oregon politicians for years now. I occasionally take bottles and cans to one of those stupid "BottleDrop" locations, but those are a crashing pain: drive for several miles, lug your returnables in, wait until a machine is available, then place the containers in - one at a time. It was much more convenient when the machines were at stores; particularly the ones where you could just dump a sack-full of cans into the hopper. Now, not so much. And what about all the dreaded greenhouse gases you emit as you drive past the stores that used to have deposit return machines as you drive further to a "BottleDrop" place? How "green&sustainable" is that?

 

Colorado Bureaucrats Fold

Colorado’s Civil Rights Commission announced Tuesday that it will dismiss its latest charges against cake artist Jack Phillips. You might remember Phillips from his victory at the US Supreme Court last summer. 

After the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Phillips, the Colorado Civil Rights Commission decided to attack him on this new charge. Instead of watching another case slowly creep through the courts, attorneys at the Alliance Defending Freedom went on the offense, suing the bureaucrats for their anti-religious bias.

Well if that's the way they're going to play, the bureaucrats decided, then they'll just take their ball and go elsewhere.

They really don't see why the guy and the attorneys backing him don't just play by the bureaucrats' rules, but having been burned badly during the last dance, they've decided not to do-see-do with those folks again.

Finally, bureaucrats have some sense pounded into them!

 

Company, Halt! About-Face!

Ann Arbor won't have all that much in the way of arbors in the future; the city council of "Tree City USA" is planning a new law establishing solar access boundaries on properties, and looking at vegetation trimming standards and building setback requirements. Why?

Because they want people to spend money sticking solar panels on the roofs of their homes, and the darned trees will eventually interfere with that grand plan. It's amusing; here in Green&Sustainable Portland, you have to spend hundreds  to thousands of dollars for a permit to trim or remove a tree on "your property" - and if you remove a tree, you must replant one from the city's approved tree list. If you don't, they'll do it and bill you $500 whether you like it or not. Ann Arbor seems to be moving in a diametrically opposite direction.

They don't want people's trees or structures throwing shade on the solar arrays of the neighbors. Property rights? What are those?

 

Oregon Democratics: Going After The Little Guy, As Usual

The carbon tax bill, HB 2020, also known as Carbon Cap-and-Trade would have a big price tag for Oregon small businesses and their customers.

Residential customers in Oregon who use natural gas are likely to see their rates increase by 11 percent—or $74—in 2021, the first year Oregon’s new climate policy and cap and spend bill takes effect, and by 53 percent, or $567, in 2040.

At least I've got a good supply of firewood....

 

 

Welcome To Southern California

Several days of rain has led to piles of trash washing up on many of Southern California’s beaches.

Aerial video from Sky5 showed one of the hardest hit coastlines was in Seal Beach Tuesday morning.

Trash brought in from storm drains along the San Gabriel River can be seen up and down the beach, even after a tractor had apparently tried to clean up by pushing a large amount of garbage into a pile.

The mouth of the river opens into the ocean, allowing products like strollers, baby diapers, syringes and furniture to wash up on shore, Tony Soriano with  Surfrider Foundation said.

And yet, California Democratics in the state legislature are busily tackling not these kinds of issues, but stupid stuff instead:

The California Legislature’s accomplishments were a mixed bag in 2018, but there’s no denying the sheer volume of activity: In total, 1,016 new laws will take effect in California in 2019. In most cases, these range from the unnecessary to the silly to the sad.

In the “unnecessary” category, we have the requirement that only milk and water be published as beverage options on kids’ menus in sit-down restaurants.

And of course, there's the plastic straw ban. You know, the really important stuff.

 

Not Yours!

While many states are passing controversial abortion laws, Oregon is now considering mandating “universal” governmental visits to homes with newborn babies.

It's okay to murder a child at birth, but after a live birth, you need the state to come in, whether you like it or not.

The Oregon Health Authority was directed “to study home visiting by licensed health care providers” in the proposed legislation which was given “emergency” status, requiring action before the end of the year. Potentially setting up Oregon families for invasive interference into their private lives by the state government, the bill and its tone have raised concern.

“What’s the big emergency?” Paula Bolyard asked in an op-ed for PJ Media. “Apparently, the state of Oregon is concerned that some parents are raising their children without the watchful eye of Big Brother monitoring their every move — a big no-no in the view of the progressive left.”

That would be the Regressive Left. Oh, and just where do they figure to get the money to pay for their intrusions? Yep, you.

The statewide program is seeking $4 million from this year’s Legislature, with matching federal funds.

Those idiots can't even protect kids in foster care; in Oregon, foster kids are abused at twice the national rate - but Oregon bureaucrats and politicians believe that they can do a better job of providing for the health and welfare of your children than you can. Naturally, our "bisexual governor" from Minnesota (who has never had a child) is all in.

Oregon Health & Science University’s Dr. Alanna Braun, a member of the Oregon Pediatrics Society, explained how the program would not only monitor children, but the adults in the home as well, according to Woodburn Independent.

Every family, regardless of income or address, could visited by a nurse three times who would be checking the infant’s surroundings as well as monitor new mothers for signs of postpartum depression.

We don't have a newborn, so we might be okay. But I'm still gonna buy more bullets.

These Democratics are nuts, and there's no telling what they'll get up to next. Right now, they're plotting to overthrow both the Fourth Amendment and the Due Process Clause of the Constitution. Guess what's not going to happen at this home.

 

Coming To The Portland Area Soon

You Vill Pay!

Drivers who take a highway exit to avoid having to pay a toll on Virginia's Interstate 81 could end up paying far more after a ticket arrives in the mail. The state Senate Transportation Committee will consider a proposal later today that would authorize tolling on I-81. Introduced by state Senator Mark D. Obenshain (R-Harrisonburg), the measure would also allow private companies to operate a new type of automated photo enforcement camera that issues tickets based on a motorist's choice of route. Those attempting to save a bit of money by taking a side street could be subjected to a fine set by the Commonwealth Transportation Board.

You just know they'll try that here.

I generally drive side-streets, so this approach is geared toward people like me.