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Sleepy Wood Village Isn't Sleepy Anymore

WOOD VILLAGE, Ore. (KPTV) -- A fight took place in an Oregon dispensary after a customer tried to return his pot, according to employees.

The incident was caught by surveillance cameras at NW Compassion Medical Center in Wood Village at around 5 p.m. Friday.

A cashier said the suspect, 30-year-old Daniel Applegate, tried to return a product saying he received less than he paid for. When workers told him they couldn’t accept the return, they said he became volatile.

Oh, if only there were something he could use to mellow himself out....

For all the pot-shop folks knew, the idiot might've been trying to "return" oregano. Maybe the shop should post a "no returns" sign.

Surveillance video shows the suspect reaching across the counter before fighting with employees and another customer.

In any case, he won't be patronizing pot shops for a while:

Multnomah County deputies said Applegate was later caught and arrested on charges of third-degree robbery, fourth-degree assault, criminal mischief and interfering with a police officer.

Workers said it was all over about $40 worth of marijuana.

Pot shops here always have heavy surveillance. He must not have known that.

 

San Diego Hot Property

Naturally, it's located on Oregon Street. But you can rent this 200 square-foot back yard shed for only $1050 a month! Such a deal! No dishwasher, but it does have a small fridge and an air conditioner.

It even has a bathroom, sort of.

Renters in San Diego are reacting to a rental listing for what looks like a backyard shed with a rental price of $1,050 a month.

The studio — fitted with plumbing, air conditioner, a kitchenette, and laminate flooring — is located in the backyard of a home on Oregon Street in North Park, which is considered to be one of San Diego’s most walkable areas.

An employee at the rental agency managing the property said he expected to get the asking price and that a previous tenant had rented it at $1,100 a month for two years.

The apartment does not include parking, and applicants must earn 2.5 times the rent.

I guess you sleep in the living room - such as it is.

 

The Exorcist

Paranormal possessions are the focus of the all-new TV drama, “Evil.” The psychological mystery on CBS pits science against religion, investigating unexplained mysteries like supposed hauntings and miracles.  

But as otherworldly as it may seem, some people see an exorcism as a last-ditch effort to heal something that’s having a very real effect on their lives. James Cloud has made it part of his life’s work.

“If I hadn’t seen half the stuff I’ve seen in life, I wouldn’t believe it, either — until it actually happens,” he said.

The Medford-based religious leader and licensed counselor has performed hundreds of exorcisms.

He works out of the abandoned mining town of Golden, Oregon - not far away from his Medford home and base.

He does his exorcisms here, in an abandoned church in an abandoned town. Actually, a great location for a serial criminal, one would imagine; the whole place is fairly spooky, even in broad daylight. I've been there a few times, and it's like a journey into history.

“[Many people] think reality’s very sanitized,” he said. “When people die, they go to heaven, bad people go to hell, the angels stay in heaven, the demons stay in hell — and that’s not the case. Throughout the scriptures, we see examples of angels interacting on Earth — devils and Satan himself interacting on Earth.”

Cloud also makes house calls, but seems to prefer the old sanctuary for the task, when possible. Brent Goodrich, an RV technician, drove several hours from his home in Springfield, Oregon to meet the exorcist at the old church in Golden.

“A lot of people just don’t believe you,” Goodrich said. “I didn’t think any of this stuff existed prior.”

Goodrich reached out to Cloud for help after what he described as 2 years of torment.

“They’re constantly, constantly making noise. The ones — the ones around me just hiss and hiss at me,” Goodrich mumbled.

And lo and behold, it worked for Brent.

Fascinating.

 

Bizarre News Items

A Saskatoon man says he's been banned from entering the United States for five years after attempting to volunteer at an arts festival in Washington state this summer. Kyle Kuchirka, 25, an actor and recent graduate of the University of Saskatchewan's drama department, said he tried to cross the U.S. border between Abbotsford, B.C., and Sumas, Wash., on Aug. 29.

After more than four hours of questioning, he said, he was handed a document informing him he was prohibited from entering the U.S. for five years. "You do not have work authorization," the document stated.

Apparently, the concept of volunteering escapes some of our fine agents along the northern border.

AND:

Universal Orlando Resort has fired a "Despicable Me" actor who flashed the "OK" sign while posing for a photograph with a kid.

See that? The guy holding the banana has his index fingertip and his thumbtip touching each other in what is today interpreted by some as a "hate" symbol. Sort of like when "gay" used to mean "festive".

Today, the "OK" sign is Very Bad, and the "parents" of the kids here are (of course) "outraged".

A Universal Orlando Resort spokesman said Tuesday in response to USA TODAY inquiries about the episode that the actor had been fired. The spokesman, Tom Schroder, initially declined to further comment but then issued a statement: 

"We never want our guests to experience what this family did. This is not acceptable and we are sorry – and we are taking steps to make sure nothing like this happens again. We can’t discuss specifics about this incident, but we can confirm that the actor no longer works here. We remain in contact with the family and will work with them privately to make this right."

AND:

KANAWHA COUNTY, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- UPDATE @ 12 p.m.
The St. Albans Fire Department arrived on scene at Cooke Crematorium in Nitro and successfully put out a fire Tuesday.

Reportedly, crematorium staff were attempting to cremate a 500-pound corpse. Maybe they should impose size limits, as are done with height restrictions for kids on certain amusement park rides.

AND:

Speaking of corpses and feeling the Bern, it's looking as though Sanders is toast as far as his presidential aspirations go:

The 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, 78, has cancelled campaign events until further notice after undergoing surgery. Mr Sanders was treated in hospital for an arterial blockage after experiencing chest pain at an event in Nevada on Tuesday.

At 78, the socialist (and lifer politician) is approaching the end of his shelf life.

 

 

Florida Man, Meet Florida Woman

SEPTEMBER 23--A Florida Woman who “wanted to eat more than her fair share of tomatoes at the dinner table” is facing criminal charges after allegedly assaulting elderly relatives who thwarted her grubby vegetable gambit, records show.

Katie Jade Gates, 19, allegedly became incensed when she was denied additional tomatoes during supper on September 12 at her family’s home in Callahan, a town 20 miles north of Jacksonville.

Tomatoes? Really?

That kid's got some serious issues. But she seems to have great teeth. Needs a stylist for her hair, though.

 

Omaha Man Attacked With A Banana

“The banana was not recovered and its whereabouts were unknown,” officers said in their report.

Officers were called to Benson Tower at 59th Street and the Northwest Radial shortly before 9:20 a.m. Thursday “in order to investigate an assault with a banana.” A 53-year-old man said he had gotten into an argument with a 23-year-old female resident.

It's the Midwest. Makes people weird, probably because it's so flat out there. On the other hand, it makes the left coast seem almost sane. Almost.

 

Blues Brothers - Not

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. (WLS) -- One person is in custody after an SUV crashed into the Sears at Woodfield Mall in Schuamburg and then drove through the shopping center Friday afternoon, police said. Anthony Uchick was shopping with his mother at the Sears in Schaumburg's Woodfield Mall Friday when he said a car crashed through the storefront and proceeded to drive through the shopping center.

Uchick said the vehicle exited Sears near the Rainforest Cafe, almost striking children nearby. The car then crashed into Forever 21 before driving down toward Macy's, where the driver was taken into custody, he said.

 

I'm Not Saying It's Aliens, But...

Ranchers in the most remote parts of Eastern Oregon don't understand how or why so many cattle in the region have died through mutilation that includes surgical-like incisions, but not a trace of blood left behind. More than four hours south of Pendleton is Princeton, where a couple of years ago another cow was found dead — sliced up and mutilated, yet bloodless. Local residents made their rounds through the area looking for any clues or tracks that could lead to a conclusion, but they kept coming up empty. A local butcher even said he could not explain how it happened.

And this summer at the expansive 140,000-acre Silvies Valley Ranch, five young Hereford bulls were found dead, with their tongues and genitals removed and no tracks left behind. National Geographic interviewed a rancher who claims to have seen a bright light in the sky one night before one of his cattle was mutilated with no tracks in the snow, nor a trace of blood. He believes aliens abducted his cow, took it into space, removed its genitals and dropped it back onto the property where they found it.

Silvies Valley Ranch is nearly the size of Chicago. This summer, five young purebred bulls were cut down in their prime. Colby Marshall is the vice president of the ranch.

To understand what happened better, we rattled up a two-track U.S. Forest Service road. 

“And we’re gonna drive in here,” Marshall said, “oh a little ways and then we’ll get out and take a little walk to where one [of] the bulls was found. And the carcass is still there.”

These animals were found bloodless, with their tongues and genitals precisely removed.

Whatever or whoever the cause, what’s clear is it isn’t bears, wolves, cougars or poisonous plants. Nor were the animals shot.

The FBI won’t confirm or deny it’s looking into the killings.

You may never have been out that way, but I have, many times, for zoological work. And I can tell you that in that country, everything leaves tracks - wolves, coyotes, even porcupines. I've tracked porcupines right to the juniper they're resting in, over the years. Unquestionably, these are real mysteries. I can understand why some have taken to viewing the cattle mutilations as the work of some alien entities, as there are no tracks or other evidence indicating human or animal involvement.

 

The Anchorman

When fishing goes really bad. Some kids really are as resilient as has been claimed; this one somehow got a boat anchor stuck in his head.

MANATEE COUNTY, Fla. — A freak boating accident left a 14-year-old Manatee County boy with an anchor lodged in his skull, and doctors call his survival story "one in a million." “We needed to take out a big piece of skull, try to take out the pieces of bone and whatever else he had in there from the anchor,” Luis Rodriguez, M.D., a pediatric neurological surgeon at Johns Hopkins, said. “And more important, give his brain space to swell because that’s what was going to happen.”

“I’ve seen arrows through and through. I’ve seen bullets through and through. I’ve seen things like this, but I’ve never seen an anchor, number one, and number two, I’ve never seen anybody with an injury like that walk out of the hospital almost completely neurologically intact. That’s one in a million,” Dr. Rodriguez said.

Now he should buy a lottery ticket; he's obviously on a roll. How, exactly, the anchor got lodged in the kid's head was not mentioned in the story, which focused mostly on the kid's remarkable recovery.

 

 

 

The Latest Scandal

According to Newsweek, Trump allegedly stole pancakes while on a brief visit to Scotland:

Newsweek picked up a story out of Scotland in which a “distant cousin” of Trump on his mother’s side said he had “stolen a handful of flat cakes while on vacation at his late mother’s former home in Scotland.” Alice Mackay “said the commander-in-chief is an unpleasant man who has never used any of his wealth to help his mother’s local community,” Newsweek reported.

TDS just keeps getting weirder.